Why can’t he be my best friend?!


‘He is not your best friend’.  JG says.

‘Whatever…’  I say defiantly.

We have had this conversation before.  It happens once or twice a year.  This time it’s on my birthday, when I get a phone call from my (best) friend Daniel, wishing me a happy birthday.

Daniel and I met at work. Before JG and I met. Long before we were married.

We met in the office kitchenette to be more precise, getting our mid-morning beverages.  I was the new kid on the block and Daniel two years established with his feet firmly under the desk.

We made small talk in the kitchenette, that morning, .. as you do.

He asked me out.

I said No.

We became friends.

He was dependable, had a wicked sense of humour and girly pursuits.  Soon Daniel and I were having lunch together everyday in the canteen. We were having coffee breaks.  We talked for hours about work, everything, everyone and more work.

He was like a girlfriend in a man’s body. He was better than a girlfriend in many respects. He didn’t tell you what you wanted to hear. He was more honest. We disagreed, we argued. We made up.

I asked his advice about guys. Not how to get one to date but one to keep. He said I was stubborn. I needed to listen more.  He asked me about girls.

He was straight, just hadn’t met the right girl. I introduced him to my friends in the hope that they would like each each other and pair off.  It didn’t happen. I told him he was too nice.  Too needy. Girls hate that.

Over time our friendship developed and we became closer. He was my best friend.

Our relationship strictly platonic. People who didn’t know us thought we were a couple. When I moved onto another job, we stayed friends.

It was Daniel I first told about JG. His opinion mattered to me.

Now, JG was all but asking me to severe ties with Daniel.

I assured JG (again) that I have no interest in Daniel. I have never seen him in that way.

JG is tall, much taller than Daniel and good looking.  Yet he is jealous of Daniel and I don’t understand why.  He doesn’t even want to hear Daniel’s name mentioned.

So we have this conversation again and again:

‘If I wanted Daniel I would have been with him.  I have known him for ages’.

‘I don’t trust him’.

‘You don’t know him’.

‘I know his type’.

I don’t want to see Daniel every day, every week or even every month but I don’t want to stop being his friend.  We have bonded over the years. We know the same people. I want us to stay friends for ever. I want to invite him to our home. I want him to be friends with JG.

JG trust me 100% I know that. Even if he didn’t trust me, my faith is way too strong for me to contemplate anything stupid.

Why can’t JG accept Daniel the way he accepts my female friends?


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